Who Do You Think You Are?

"Who do you think you are?" :  My first courageous step at entering a new form, (for me!), of 'conversation' - through social media. So I thank you upfront for indulging me as I see where this can go!

• Who do you think you are trying your hand at writing a blog?
• Who do you think is interested in your random thoughts?

Really, WHO do you think you are?

I could make a list of such questions but I have learned that nothing is gained if I don't try and if my verbal rants can help me with my process while maybe just causing someone else to join in as part of their process, then we all grow. If we can have a conversation, even just with ourselves, then that's where the process, the understanding starts. Hey, it may give us pause for thought, or better yet, even make us laugh! Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine. So if you are laughing at me now, because of what I am trying to do, then I am laughing with you ...and then we will all feel better :)

Through the years I have met so many interesting people. People from all walks of life, all ages, all nationalities. People who have influenced my life in so many ways. The idea of putting some of my thoughts and questions "out there" through this means is novel to me but I also understand that it can be a wonderful way of possibly reconnecting and meeting new people willing to share comments and ideas too.

I have so many thoughts and ideas running around in my head...no,not just my head, sometimes it feels like my whole being is made up of, and controlled by, thoughts, ideas, words, songs, nursery rhymes from way back when, lines to songs that just won't go away ( even when I am sleeping, or trying to!) Ideas that if allowed can take me to another dimension, or so it seems! Some actually do get put into practice and some have even earned me significant recognition. Does this mean that those that haven't were a waste of my time? I don't think so, I think it's all part of the matrix, my makeup and the formation of the ideas that are exposed to the world.

Circumstances, called life, have caused many resurrections or reinventions of myself. It is an incredible roller coaster ride! I have found myself identified as many things: daughter, student, teacher, mother, friend, entrepreneur, caregiver, manager, director, gallery owner, public speaker, facilitator, coach, advocate, intuitive, creative and so on and so on. Some maybe not so positive too! And I have the certificates and photographs to prove it! They are labels which cause more thoughts and ideas to run around my body sometimes affecting who I seem to be that day or how I act, think,believe.

Out of all these words, thoughts and labels, most importantly including those of others, came the recent intense quest for me to find out who I really am. Who do I think I am? Years of reading self-help books, attending "Fix Me Quick" talks and workshops, studying with Gurus whose words and support I so needed at that time, finally led me to the conclusion that deep down inside I know who I am. Not who I think I am but who I am! We all do! I am reminded of a mentor responding to guru as G.U.R.U. Yes you are!!

Getting to that realization and learning to act and honor it has been a tough, intense but rewarding journey. I can now honor and smile when I am told by my peers:"Jan, you just have to show up!" or as someone once told me years ago sitting by the Acropolis in Athens, Greece: "Wherever Jan goes, Jan goes with her!" Not sure I got it at the time but now I do! When we are willing to look at ourselves, every day; willing to take the time to stop and notice what we are noticing, notice what we are feeling. When we are willing to be accountable to ourselves, to show love, forgiveness, gratitude to, and for, ourselves, then we can stand in our truth and say with love and pride: I know who I am!

So today I am having the courage of my convictions. I am once again showing up, this time as Jan the fledgling blogger! There are so many conversations for us to have that I hope I have sown a seed, opened a door, inspired a thought or an idea for you. If we are all connected, and I believe that we are, then how great to have this opportunity to informally share our thoughts and ideas; to have conversation.